published on 19 Juli 2022
Lees dit artikel in het Nederlands
From catering to leafletting, I’ve had many jobs… But only one that was sustainable enough for my rent and for my mental health. I found my niche in BDSM. Pro-domming has kept me going through the bad times; homelessness, debts, escaping abuse, and being a full-time carer. Cracking the whip has also funded the good times; university, working in the arts, and even more glamorously, international travel.
Travel
Most often I arrived from the UK into the Netherlands, with working holidays in Holland every few months, and easy access to the rest of Europe. I’d show up on a crimson lit street, sharing a stroopwafel and a strap-on with an old friend and colleague. The venue was well equipped and welcoming, I felt safe working with my friend and we were a dream team.
That is, until Brexit (and Covid 19) happened, and I was suddenly locked in the grey UK with no income. Because of Brexit, I lost my European status. I cannot spend more than three out of six months in Europe, and I have to wait another three months to return. I need a permit to work in the EU, and this industry doesn’t present official job offers or employment visas.
Migration
Over time, the UK felt less diverse - British flags appeared in peoples’ windows, along with increased xenophobia and racism. European friends frantically applied for rights to stay, and some had to leave. While those from further afield faced the same ongoing paperwork struggles as always, with enhanced checks and border control. All of these changes added up to increased government control, putting sex workers even further into the spotlight.
Income
Before Brexit, Britain had attracted a steady stream of international bored businessmen. In town for some kind of meeting, they’d often arrange another more interesting meeting. Almost overnight, Brexit caused companies to shut down or stop trading in the UK. The man meetings stopped, as did most of my work. Most industries faced economic instability, and the few remaining local, loyal clients were strapped for cash. I lowered my work standards; dropping rates, offering more services, advertising more and screening less, which didn’t feel great.
New problems
So I contacted old clients, wondering if they’d see me overseas. But my ability to travel or work abroad was restricted, having to keep careful count of the days away and a closer eye on the labour laws. In the Netherlands, my Dutch friend and colleague suggested I present as the “wife” of a client, so that we could work together (even if I am half his age and already known to the premises). At licensed sex work venues, officials may visit for regular check ups, so we could be caught, arrested and fined.
To keep clear of her workplace and have full anonymity, we considered using an illegal space instead. But this option is also risky, since we’d lose security systems including staff, surveillance, emergency buttons and the option to call the cops if we needed to. If found out, we’d then both be considered illegal workers, and risk being fined and assumed not to be paying any tax, which could trigger an investigation.
New solutions
Sadly it is not possible to kiss and tell, or share the end of this story about the lucky little gimps who may or may not be getting double-Dutch-dommed at any given moment. But we have found ways to continue making money out of masochistic men. Since we are both cis presenting, white workers with some language skills, we’re still in a relatively privileged position - especially when compared to our sex working sisters who are undocumented, trans or of colour.
Many sex workers lost their income due to Brexit, and there’s no UK government fund to help. And even though sex work is legal in the Netherlands, many of us in Holland were left unsupported throughout the global pandemic. I had suspected that there was no special safety net for sex workers, but I had relied upon my passport and my femme skills to survive. I didn’t realise how privileged I was to be an EU citizen, until I wasn’t. Luckily I can still rely on myself - it's my job to find creative sadistic solutions.
