{"id":328,"date":"2022-08-13T18:30:00","date_gmt":"2022-08-13T18:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/?p=328"},"modified":"2026-11-10T16:52:58","modified_gmt":"2026-11-10T16:52:58","slug":"how-much-time-should-i-give-my-new-partner-to-adjust-to-my-job","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/es\/articles\/how-much-time-should-i-give-my-new-partner-to-adjust-to-my-job\/","title":{"rendered":"How much time should I give my new partner to adjust to my job?"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul class=\"wpm-language-switcher wpm-switcher-list\">\r\n\t\t\t<li class=\"wpm-item-language-en\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328\" data-lang=\"en\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-multilang\/flags\/gb.png\" alt=\"English (UK)\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span>English (UK)<\/span>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\r\n\t\t\t<li class=\"wpm-item-language-nl\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/nl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328\" data-lang=\"nl\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-multilang\/flags\/nl.png\" alt=\"Nederlands\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span>Nederlands<\/span>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\r\n\t\t\t<li class=\"wpm-item-language-es active\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span data-lang=\"es\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-multilang\/flags\/es.png\" alt=\"Espagnol\">\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span>Espagnol<\/span>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\r\n\t<\/ul>\r\n\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A whirlwind romance had brought me to a Greek island, where \u2013 sipping on a frapp\u00e9, the sea lapping at my feet \u2013 my rose tinted sunglasses fell off. My lover informed me he could perhaps learn to tolerate my work, but he couldn\u2019t possibly actively support a career in this industry. I wanted to spit frapp\u00e9 in his face, but he pleaded for another chance, saying he\u2019d already come so far given his conservative background. I\u2019m happy to report that he\u2019s now managing my OnlyFans, helping with my website\u2019s SEO and shooting content for me and my colleagues. Was I looking for an assistant rather than a boyfriend? Probably.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Mockery is a big red flag<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I was less lucky with another date, who found it hilarious that I referred to a scheduled porn shoot as going to work. I sent him some sex worker rights videos and dumped him. Mockery is a big red flag, much worse than squeamishness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Nobody wants a whorephobic partner, but on the other hand everyone carries stigma around. If someone seems otherwise amazing, maybe we should give them some time to educate themselves. But how long is too long? In general always keep in mind it\u2019s better to let someone with growth potential go too soon, than risk sticking it out with someone who is clinging onto their prejudice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Patience of an angel<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The world thinks that we don\u2019t deserve respect and it\u2019s easy to start believing that, even subconsciously. We then find a partner who doesn\u2019t think our job is worthy of respect and we accept that, unaware that not respecting our work equals not respecting us. Internalised stigma can make it harder to see red flags and three months, if you have the patience of an angel, is plenty of time for someone to get clued up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-media-text has-media-on-the-right is-stacked-on-mobile\"><div class=\"wp-block-media-text__content\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Substitute<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you need to, substitute the word \u2018whore\u2019 for another job, to combat your own internalised stigma. And kick their ass out if they continue spewing bullshit like \u2018I won\u2019t have sex with you after you\u2019ve treated a patient\u2019, \u2018I won\u2019t support your career as a painter\u2019, \u2018I don\u2019t want you to meet my friends and family because you\u2019re a hairdresser\u2019, \u2018I get triggered and angry when I hear you talk about your day at the office\u2019, \u2018I will only date you if you quit being a driver.\u2019 See how creepy and controlling that sounds? We deserve the same respect as other workers, especially from our partners!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Illustrations by Margreet de Heer<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-post-author\"><div class=\"wp-block-post-author__avatar\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/zinaberlin-150x150.jpg\" width=\"48\" height=\"48\" srcset=\"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/zinaberlin-150x150.jpg 2x\" alt=\"Zina Berlin\" class=\"avatar avatar-48 wp-user-avatar wp-user-avatar-48 alignnone photo\" \/><\/div><div class=\"wp-block-post-author__content\"><p class=\"wp-block-post-author__name\">Zina Berlin<\/p><\/div><\/div>\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-post-author-biography\">Organizes Callgirls \u2018n Coffee \u2013 a sex worker monthly meetup at the PIC \u2013 works as an escort and porn performer. She doesn\u2019t quite know how to run with the wolves, but is excellent at napping with cats.<\/div><\/div><figure class=\"wp-block-media-text__media\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"720\" height=\"485\" src=\"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/column-zinapatient.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-329 size-full\" srcset=\"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/column-zinapatient.jpeg 720w, https:\/\/redinsight.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/column-zinapatient-480x323.jpeg 480w\" sizes=\"(min-width: 0px) and (max-width: 480px) 480px, (min-width: 481px) 720px, 100vw\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A whirlwind romance had brought me to a Greek island, where \u2013 sipping on a frapp\u00e9, the sea lapping at my feet \u2013 my rose tinted sunglasses fell off. My lover informed me he could perhaps learn to tolerate my work, but he couldn\u2019t possibly actively support a career in this industry. I wanted to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":330,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=328"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":631,"href":"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328\/revisions\/631"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/330"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redinsight.org\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}